1) What statement best describes you?
- A deeply feeling person.
- A talkative-sharing person.
- A doing-showing person.
2) As a child, the thing I most remember receiving was...
- Affection.
- Verbal praise.
- Rewards.
3) My family demonstrated love...
- By touching.
- By telling each other.
- It was just understood.
4) As a child I remember being...
- Spanked.
- Yelled at.
- Grounded.
5) People need to be more considerate of...
- Other people's feelings.
- How they speak to each other.
- Other people's time and schedules.
6) In communicating affection to my mate, I prefer to give...
- Tender kisses.
- Tender words.
- A gift of tender meaning.
7) I would most enjoy receiving from my companion...
- A hug and a kiss when we meet in the evening.
- An opportunity to talk about the day's events.
- A phone call during the day.
8) For a small gift I would most enjoy receiving...
- A coupon that said, "Good for one back rub or foot massage."
- A personal, handwritten letter expressing appreciation.
- Working with me on a pet project.
9) I am most frustrated by...
- Insensitive people.
- Critical people.
- Unfair people.
10) I need to spend time with my mate talking about...
- Positive things.
- Significant events and others.
- Alternatives and solutions.
11) I would prefer...
- Quietly walking hand in hand.
- A positive heart to heart talk.
- A clean house or well kept yard.
12) It is more important to have my mate...
- Be with me; sit next to me.
- Talk about my hopes and dreams.
- Remember to run an errand for me.
13) I would rather...
- Be embraced and treated affectionately.
- Be told I am loved.
- Be shown that I am loved.
14) What I admire in a friend is...
- Unconditional acceptance.
- Availability and understanding.
- Loyalty and dependability.
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15) I would prefer to have my mate...
- Reach out and touch me.
- Say, "I love you."
- Surprise me with a good deed.
16) My idea of a great weekend is...
- Spending time just being together.
- Visiting with friends and family.
- Getting lots of projects accomplished.
17) I would prefer receiving appreciation by...
- A hug.
- A kind word.
- Receiving something I need.
18) With which of these statements do you most agree?
- I would rather hold hands in public, or walk arm-in-arm, and mean it, than live in a fancy house.
- I would rather be told I was loved, than be married to a workaholic who is always giving me everything but him/herself.
- You shouldn't have to tell somebody you love them all the time; they should know it by the way they are treated.
19) The thing that upsets me most about children is...
- Not being affectionate.
- Talking back.
- Not being obedient.
20) The thing that upsets me most about my loved one is their...
- Lack of intimacy.
- Failure to communicate.
- Lack of responsibility.
21) I would rather have my mate...
- Be physically expressive and touching.
- Recognize my efforts with words of appreciation.
- Demonstrate their appreciation by doing something I can see.
22) When I get upset as a parent I would be more inclined to...
- Spank.
- Scold.
- Withdraw privileges.
23) As a parent of a young child I would prefer...
- Holding or wrestling with them.
- Reading a story to them.
- Taking them to the park.
24) I feel good...
- Just being held.
- Being able to fully express myself.
- Getting things done.
25) Which statement best describes you...
- Physically expressive.
- Verbally expressive.
- Accomplishment oriented.
26) As a sign of caring for me I would like to receive from my loved ones...
- Lots of affection.
- Sincere praise.
- "Hands on" help.
27) I would prefer to have my mate...
- Spend more one on one time with me.
- Pay me a compliment.
- Greater participation in doing the daily tasks.
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After you have answered all of the questions, then add up your totals for A, B, and C:
- If you answered "A" more often than any other you are "Touch Oriented."
- If you answered "B" more often than any other you are "Verbally Oriented."
- If you answered "C" more often than any other you are "Visually Oriented."
- If you have a close balance of A's, B's, and C's you are known as a Universal Donor (you need to have a balance of Touch, Verbal, and Visual.)
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